How far do people go to reinvent themselves and for what reasons?
It's a question often on my mind. How far will one person go to completely revamp their lifestyle in order to satisfy their needs and often others. Some people get a new hair cut, maybe a new outfit. But sometimes, well...quite oftenly I see others completely change who they are, what they do and occaisonally who they are seen with.
I want to know, how much can one person reinvent themselves without eyebrows being raised. If it's a positive step surely people should be supportive and happy. However if it is a step someone makesin order to gain popularity through fakeness then yes, eyebrows should be raised.
I don't know, it's 3.22am and I'm waffling.
Watching Desperate Housewives, it's addictive.
I should probably sleep! Library session tomorrow, followed by netball training, and then a hefty night at SugarMill.
Sleep well xo
Sunday 30 November 2008
Monday 24 November 2008
Happiness...
I can't seem to get this post started. I keep re-writing it over and over again...
We live in a very materialistic world, there is no denying that. We all get concerned about our possessions. Let's face it our possessions are a part of who we are. But that's all they should be...a part! Not WHO you are. I see so many people completely consumed my consumerism and I am unable to see through this fake exterior and work out who they really are. Surely you can not trust someone covered in a material exterior? Well this has proved out to be true. Recently it has become clear to me which people in my life have true intentions and who truely are my friends, maybe this may change in a few months, maybe even tomorrow, but it's quite satisfying to know who you trust even if it is 3.09am! I'm tired of childish behaviour, rumours and constantly looking over my shoulder. I have a great life right now, certain friendships could still be friendhips, but I have learnt to bite the bullet and have learnt to be completely happy with every aspect of my life. Uni is tough, but not unbearable and between socialising, netball and radio I am managing to get my coursework and various other essays done (at stupid o'clock in the morning, but done nonetheless).
On a more positive note - NFG, SYG, 4YS, CIS tomorrow! A date with my lovely Harriet! Going to be an awesome evening.
On a more negative note - I think I'm becoming nocturnal! not good! It's not 3.27am and I'm not feeling tired!
Peace xo
We live in a very materialistic world, there is no denying that. We all get concerned about our possessions. Let's face it our possessions are a part of who we are. But that's all they should be...a part! Not WHO you are. I see so many people completely consumed my consumerism and I am unable to see through this fake exterior and work out who they really are. Surely you can not trust someone covered in a material exterior? Well this has proved out to be true. Recently it has become clear to me which people in my life have true intentions and who truely are my friends, maybe this may change in a few months, maybe even tomorrow, but it's quite satisfying to know who you trust even if it is 3.09am! I'm tired of childish behaviour, rumours and constantly looking over my shoulder. I have a great life right now, certain friendships could still be friendhips, but I have learnt to bite the bullet and have learnt to be completely happy with every aspect of my life. Uni is tough, but not unbearable and between socialising, netball and radio I am managing to get my coursework and various other essays done (at stupid o'clock in the morning, but done nonetheless).
On a more positive note - NFG, SYG, 4YS, CIS tomorrow! A date with my lovely Harriet! Going to be an awesome evening.
On a more negative note - I think I'm becoming nocturnal! not good! It's not 3.27am and I'm not feeling tired!
Peace xo
Tuesday 4 November 2008
Anything but that...
I am struggling considerably to write this essay of a mear 500words. It's a pityful attempt and I'm only hoping i manage to shake it off in time for real essay, that count for something.
So I'm dragging up my past and i have no idea why. I've been sat here, bringing up all the negative stuff that's happened in my life and for what reason? I was already feeling low and decided to feel lower? Stupid thought-train. So yeah tonight has definately not been a productive evening, i have dont little to no work, and i have just sat and wallowed in self pity. Why does our negative past, decide to haunt us in our sadest hours?
There's a few things that keep playing on the back of my mind. A matter of choices and a matter of pride. I have lost a few things recently (and no i don't mean i lost my wallet or similar item), I mean things that meant something to me; emotions, people, and i'm still left wondering "what the hell just happened". I know i seem to be talking in riddles, but not giving to much away and trying to vent is quite a mean feat!
I want my friends back - and what grinds me down is that this on one hand is compltely up to and it is me who should be trying to put things to rights, and yet i have no idea how to make this better, lest i find a time machine.
I want my positivity back - suppose i may have to wait for that one?
I want my lonliness gone - sitting alone in my room can't be helping.
I would also very much like this essay done - and that my friends, will not be happening anytime soon.
So I'm dragging up my past and i have no idea why. I've been sat here, bringing up all the negative stuff that's happened in my life and for what reason? I was already feeling low and decided to feel lower? Stupid thought-train. So yeah tonight has definately not been a productive evening, i have dont little to no work, and i have just sat and wallowed in self pity. Why does our negative past, decide to haunt us in our sadest hours?
There's a few things that keep playing on the back of my mind. A matter of choices and a matter of pride. I have lost a few things recently (and no i don't mean i lost my wallet or similar item), I mean things that meant something to me; emotions, people, and i'm still left wondering "what the hell just happened". I know i seem to be talking in riddles, but not giving to much away and trying to vent is quite a mean feat!
I want my friends back - and what grinds me down is that this on one hand is compltely up to and it is me who should be trying to put things to rights, and yet i have no idea how to make this better, lest i find a time machine.
I want my positivity back - suppose i may have to wait for that one?
I want my lonliness gone - sitting alone in my room can't be helping.
I would also very much like this essay done - and that my friends, will not be happening anytime soon.
Sunday 2 November 2008
Catching up.
Before i welcome myself back i need to excuse my absence.
Since my move at the end of september my life has literally been caught up in the whirlwind that is first year of university. And not one moment of it has been boring! after the initial meeting and greeting of my flatmates we set about making sure we attended every single freshers event possible! Some shit. Some awesome. I have thrown my self into the lifestyle with such force that i never have any time to sit down and actually be bored, which is always good. I made the netball team, I'm dancing again, I have a job doing promo for the uni and my boss is awesome, and not only that... I have my own RADIO SHOW! pretty awesome stuff. Of corse there is the downside that i have work to do, essays to write and research to participate in but I'm sure i handle it. I have made a million friends here and there, some i will probably never see/talk to again, and some who I will probably end up living with next year! On the downside one relationship has ended and not in the nicest of ways, and I'm left feeling a little bewildered if anything, as not only am I left without a relationship but also without a friendship which baffles me.
So even in the midst of all that, i have found time to give myself a birthday present! Courtesy of the lovely Jon Vasey. It is now mostly coloured (not fully as I completely wimped out during the colour in Sheffield and decided it was best finished at a later date, sorry Vasey lol). I'm so happy about the (almost) finished result and have wasted no time in showing it off and getting my leg out!
So for the rest of the year I'm going to be one busy woman with all of my uni activities and also fitting shows like Verse, HaveHeart, Cruel Hand, Carpathian, Death Is Not Glamourous, NFG, SYG, 4Year Strong and Crime In Stereo.
In a way, I still can't wait to go home, be looked after by my parents and see all my friends back home!
In another sense of the phrase catching up, I wonder if this extremely busy lifestyle will catch up on me soon enough? Or if I will be able to manage? Guess I'll have to just wait and see...
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